The following words after this chunk of text will all omit the letter "e" – the most commonly used letter in the language. It's an exercise that my English teacher had us do in class. It was incredibly difficult, but I completed this essay called "How to Spot a Goat" with my friend Isaac. We relied heavily on the thesaurus, so you might need a dictionary. Please enjoy!
Q: Why is it a tradition that in our throwing of trash balls into bins, calling out quondam NBA champion Bryant’s popular alias is a must? Why did Jordan call an inquiry about who was an utmost clutch participant of 1992’s mighty Olympic b-ball squad "a dumb" prompt? Why do so many still hold Cassius Clay aloft holistically built and strong pugilists of today? A: IMPACT.
Impact is a dictator of how you look back at an individual, of how conjuring up thoughts of that guy brings joy and imaginably satisfaction at particular triumphs. How an individual is in mind, in truth, grows from prior victory and labor morals.
Harvard claims distinction has roots in its "ability to [subsist] as an innovator." Nonconformism is a prompt path to glory, in any particular work. It is primary in pursuing a goal, and additionally in turning good. Alarm that a crowd has at triumph admits acrimonious spirits, causing dismissal of fantastic actions. Fain to show unhappy looks, folks fail to watch within, a flaw wrought by intra-dissatisfaction. Humans walking radiant roads will glitz too harshly, accumulating outdoor animosity until boom or bust. Booms will attain GOAT status; flushing all surplus into annals of history is customary.
But – why should I, or you, or anybody worry?
Simplicity is lost in this notion of "GOATs" – today, GOATs roam in all locations. Football conflicts with Lio and Ronaldo – many individuals throw in Maradona or Zizou too. With batting, it's icons such as Ruth, Mays, and Bonds. On clay, it’s Nadal, RF, and Djokovic. Magnus, Kasparov, or Bobby fight for "king" on plaid boards.
Fits about "who is GOAT status" can physically hurt. Clips on TikTok show hairstylists brawling and swinging for MJ or Bron. Drawing blood for a man who isn’t worrying about you is past childish – it’s animalistic.
Sport is transforming into constant pissing wars, sapping its soul and corroding its spirit. It's not about skill or brains – nor passion. It's not about community or sportsmanship. It’s not about thanks or admiration for a simply idyllic activity.
It’s about pomposity – fans claiming authority as having dominant sporting wisdom. Justifications for impractical fights spawn irrational vanity, stripping focus from watching and distributing it to butt-in clout addicts. This brings honor that lasts for what? Days? Hours? And what will follow?
GOAT schisms bloom in popularity today, but I miss old customs – watching football to nourish my soul. To laugh. To cry. To shout. To throw pillows against walls. To vomit post-Brazil’s 7-1 loss.
Sports now play with such viscosity; winning outlooks rot into individually holy wars in pursuit of dazzling digits, which do naught but look dandy. It is a day of gluttony, with jocks vying for dominant production and brilliant highlights and not group, or singular victory. Corruption of our morals has brought a shift in our sports paradigm.
Why worry about statistics? Why match up Bron’s 4 and Jordan’s 6? Lio’s 8 Ballon d’Ors and Ronaldo’s 5? If anything, what basis can classify impact on a fan’s inspiration for that sport? Stats fail in voicing a fulfilling narration; a loss that is hid by monstrous data is still a distinct "L" – and nobody is proof against losing.
In fact, why do comparisons at all? As Jay-Z said, "Don’t [fight] with fools"; you can’t spot from faraway "who is who." Allow rivalry to blossom, not to wax in rhythm with wishing for singular triumph. As fans, and as patrons of stunning play, it is our obligation to hallow sport, not individuals.
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