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Don't "Wing" It - Explosive Deep Fried Turkeys

Updated: Feb 2


Fox Trot

Does turkey actually suck or do most people just cook it poorly? It's probably the latter.


For me, the turkeys I'm treated to on Thanksgiving are typically dry and bland (sorry to tell the truth Mom). It seems like we only cook it for tradition's sake.


Honestly, it probably isn't Mom's fault. It's just the way the turkey is cooked (which, on second thought, might be Mom's fault). At the Tsou household, we start by stuffing it, coating it in a sauce or whatever you put on turkeys, and then popping it in the oven. However, because the turkey is an irregular shape, it cooks unevenly and some parts are way overcooked before the middle is finished. Or maybe because it spends so much time in the oven, the moisture gets sucked out or something.


There are two solutions (I think):


  1. Don't cook a whole bird. Chop it up.

  2. Find a way to cook it faster.


I think deep frying is definitely an option for solution 2.


Maybe everything does indeed taste better deep fried, from chicken to ice cream to Oreos. In this case, deep frying the turkey will cook the outside quicker than simply baking or grilling because it's constantly surrounded by that blistering hot oil, retaining the juices inside that are normally lost when cooking it for a longer period. Another plus is that it looks pretty badass.

Turkey
A cool guy looking cool cooking a not so cool turkey

But, at the cost of your cool looks, you could potentially make this Thanksgiving the most memorable one for all the wrong reasons.

 

According to the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA), an estimated five deaths, 60 injuries, and over $15 million of damage occur yearly due to turkey fryer fires. Bears kill less than one a year, so maybe we need to get our safety priorities straight.


These injuries and deaths are easily preventable, however. The main reason for the detonation of turkey gunk is that the bird itself is still frozen. DO NOT FRY A FROZEN TURKEY.


Frozen turkeys explode because of the way water and oil react to heat. Water boils at 212 F while cooking oil is around 350 F. When a frozen turkey is immersed in a pot of boiling oil, the ice within the turkey quickly turns into steam. Said steam will rapidly expand (the volume will expand by 1700 times), significantly increasing the internal pressure within the fryer.


As the steam continues building, it will blow boiling oil out of the pot. As if that weren't dangerous enough, the displaced oil might come into contact with the burner and catch fire.


Another reason why your turkey might spontaneously combust is due to your lack of attention. I don't really understand this one because why wouldn't you pay attention to a heaping drum of deathly, infernal oil?


Essentially, different types of cooking oils have distinct smoke points, which mark the temperature at which the oil undergoes thermal degradation. When you hit that point, the oils begin to emit smoke and release airborne substances, which are highly flammable. If you observe the oil you're using producing black smoke, it's an indication that it's approaching its smoke point, and you might just want to reduce that temperature.

Fire

So how do you make sure you're frying safely? Common sense: thaw your turkey and dry it beforehand, make sure you're always watching the process, don't overfill your fryer, and get away from the house or anything else that's flammable.


Thanksgiving should be about giving thanks, not hospital bills, so is it worth it to attempt such a dangerous method of cooking turkey? Depends on if you're willing to tackle the risk of making either an explosive, mouth-watering turkey or just an explosive one.

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