In the Loop

They hated the new "Inside Out". I did too, at first.

The plan post-English regents was to take Raymond's car to White Plains and head to the IMAX to watch whatever was on. Obviously, plans with stupid boys don't go seamlessly.

Shinji took forever to finish because he "needed the grade boost", I had to relieve myself in the lavatory and grab a sweater because I thought it would be cold in the theater. Eric felt sick so he went home, and, with seats scarce, Evan decided to hop in the trunk for a bumpy ride.

We arrived at the IMAX after a few Five Guys burgers and saw that Inside Out 2 would be on at 1:30. I was excited – I had remembered the magic of the first film and the hype surrounding the sequel. Yet, even though we were already there, some began backing out, claiming it was "for kids" and "not worth the $14 ticket".

After much debate, I convinced them (by paying for two of them), and we took our seats in the middle row. Midway through, half the boys were on their phones playing Brawl Stars, and when we walked out, they jeered at me for picking such a "bad" movie.

I must admit, the film was very predictable (tiny spoilers ahead): Riley, now a teenager, naturally develops new emotions, causing turmoil in "headquarters". In the end, unity prevails, harmony is restored, and they all live happily ever after. The animation was great, and so was the music; however, it was a bit boring.

I didn't think too much of it.

It was a festive day. Laughter, foolish jokes, and the company of stupid friends. Even their complaints about my poor film choice were amusing. We took photos, ate like pigs, and played games. On the drive back, Shinji thought it would be fun if he swapped places with Evan.

Then everything stopped.

Ray drove me home, and it was back to work – I had to immediately start studying for my finals.

Physics, math, physics, math. The hangout was over. Textbooks were crammed in my brain, problem sets numbed my hands, and my eyes grew red from the strain of my computer screen. That's how it was until today after taking my last final of my junior year.

Yet, it isn't over. Maybe I'll take a day or two off, but then comes college applications and essays.

I've never been "burnt out", but I skirted past its edges these past semesters. It seems like every year is another test of how great my limit is. In general, life has gotten increasingly colorless, even in times when it's supposed to be riveting and vivid.

Maybe Joy, from the film, was right. Maybe this is what happens when you get older – you simply feel less joy.