It's quite scary when you're left with nothing but instinct.
It's all gut. There's just something inside you pulling you forward, perhaps to a place that isn't meant to make sense, or a place that is supposedly impossible to reach. It’s a strange mix of panic and clarity, the way the world distorts itself when you’re driven by nothing but a feeling. You try to reason with yourself, but you can't rely on logic. You don't know any formulas, and even if you did, it wouldn't be of any use because nothing seems to add up. You're guided by something intangible – an almost absurd conviction to keep moving even when every signal tells you not to.
It doesn't help that people are laughing at you. The world doesn't reward this kind of reckless, off-script thinking. In fact, it often tells you to stop, to double-check, to reconsider. They call it delusion, an illness of sorts, this desire to step off the grid. And maybe they’re right. Perhaps you are deluded, out of your depth, clinging to something that can’t hold you.
Now you're confused, but even worse, you're doubtful. You feel the eyes on you, the judgment, the well-meaning suggestions that you’re wasting your time. For a moment, it's hard to tell whether you're brave or just out of your mind.
But maybe delusion is just vision that hasn't come into focus yet. Maybe it's how you discover what's waiting beyond what you can see right now.
It's so easy to give in, to cling to the comfort of well-worn paths, insulated by what’s proven and predictable – after all, you're moving towards something that may very well vanish the closer you get. Yet maybe, just maybe, this path of yours has meaning, even if no one else sees it.
So you beat on, boats against the current, propelled by a belief that doesn't warm you, doesn't reassure you – because what if being delusional is the only way to get anywhere worth going?
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